Never Again...Again by L. A. Witt

Author:L. A. Witt [Witt, L. A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Gay & Lesbian
ISBN: 9781611245189
Publisher: Amber Quill Press, LLC
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4

* * *

For a moment, we just stared at each other, the weight of those words settling in around and on top of us. We'd said it, breathed life into it, and there was no pretending we hadn't. Not forever, anyway.

Mitch shifted a little, wincing, and lifted himself up. He pulled out carefully, both of us gasping as he slid free.

Then he got up to get rid of the condom. As he came back, he said, "Shower?"

I nodded. "Good idea." I sat up slowly, since my head was still spinning, and stood carefully on my wobbly legs.

Mitch gently grasped my elbow. "You all right?" he asked, chuckling.

"Yeah." I grinned at him. "Smug bastard." Our eyes met, and we both laughed. I was relieved at the levity. Anything to avoid discussing the brief conversation we'd just had. It would come up eventually--sooner than later, knowing us--but I was grateful for a momentary break from it.

The shower stall was cramped--just a curtain across a bathtub that no one of average height could have reclined in comfortably. Between that and the half-hearted spray from the showerhead, we had no choice but to get close together.

Not that we needed and excuse. We held each other beneath the lukewarm water, wet hands running over wet skin as we lazily made out.

All the while, his words--our words--echoed in my head.

I love you.

I love you too.

It was true. Of course it was.

Just like it was true that nothing in this room could be allowed to see the light of day. That we were asking for disaster if we let those seven gentle words turn this into something more real than it had any right to be. There was nothing we could do about that, and it was pointless to even fantasize about it, never mind admit that we felt the way we did.

After a while, he broke the kiss, and my heart pounded. I knew what was coming.

Don't, Mitch. Just let it go.

He touched his forehead to mine. "I meant it, you know. I love you."

A lump tried to rise in my throat, but I pushed it back. "I meant it, too."

And...what? Would that change anything? Of course it wouldn't. It would only make it harder for us to walk away.

So I didn't say anything more. Neither did Mitch. I kissed him, and he held on to me, and even if I love you was too big and goodbye was too fucking painful, this was perfect, so we let it happen.

Eventually, Mitch turned off the water. We dried ourselves with the tiny, coarse towels provided by the motel before returning to the main part of our room.

By all rights, this was when we should have been getting dressed and making our awkward, whispered goodbyes in between promises to never do this again. There was still time before sunrise, though. At least that was what I told myself as we pulled the covers back and climbed into bed.

There were no words. We'd already said too damned much tonight, so we just pulled each other close end didn't say a thing.

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